An Ex-Lesbian Tells Her True 'Coming Out' Story     7/16/2003 God helped take away her homosexual desires Part 2 Valerie Pegues heard Concerned Women for America President Sandy Rios present the hope of the Gospel to lesbian activist Tammy Bruce on Concerned Women Today last April. That prompted Valerie to contact us. She desired to tell the story of her deliverance from lesbianism in which, interestingly, Christian radio played an important part. That lifestyle consumed her for 16 years, until she met Jesus Christ and experienced total deliverance through Him. Pamela Wong, director of publications for CWA, interviewed Val, and here is the conclusion of her story. To read Part 1, click here. This must have been a tough time. Did you think you had come to a place where you could finally let this lifestyle go? How did seeing your brother die of AIDS affect you? I was in Chicago for almost four years. I spent most of my time alone. I didn’t spend much time with friends, and even though I continued to go out, it was an escape from a home life that got worse by the day. Unfortunately, my brother had given up on his life and had turned to crack cocaine. His friends were dying on a regular basis. These were young men in their late 20’s, early 30’s. My mother and I tried desperately to seek alternative medicines for him to treat his AIDS. We constantly encouraged him to take care of himself. We wanted to believe that he could live with this disease. But, I don’t think he wanted to live. Just like I wanted out of this lifestyle, I wanted it for my brother as well. But, it seemed as if it was too late for him. My brother was just waiting to die. I managed to go three of the four years without getting involved in another lesbian relationship. When I did get into one, it was short-lived. I felt myself getting stronger. But, still not enough to walk away. But, I found no satisfaction in relationships. I needed something else to fill this vacuum that seemed to get bigger as the years passed by. I began to read the Scriptures desperately for understanding. So after four years, you returned to California. You began to read the Bible as your desire to leave the lesbian lifestyle grew. Then what happened? I began living with another women, but that relationship was also short-lived. It was not a healthy relationship, and I believed that someday this addiction would come to an end. If only I could just say no and walk away from the environment. I started reading the Word again. I picked up my New Revised Standard Version of the Bible and made another attempt to understand God’s Word. But this time, I had the help of Christian radio to usher me into a relationship with Jesus Christ. I truly believe that until I understood that this was about a relationship with God, my spiritual eyes were not opened to what I was reading. This relationship with Jesus was the beginning of my deliverance. Although I got involved in one more relationship with a woman, it was meant to be the very last one. My transition into Christianity was the beginning of a new life that I longed to attain on my own. I never knew that what had been missing all these years was Jesus. What impact did Christian radio have on you? I had become fed up with secular radio. The music depressed me even more. I started listening to other talk radio programs until one day I stumbled across KCBC of Northern California. I feel so indebted to Christian radio today because it saved my life. Through radio, I heard about the saving grace of God. I heard about being born again. I heard about the spiritual mind and the carnal mind being constantly at war with one another. I heard about not being conformed to the world but being transformed by the renewing of your mind [Romans 12]. I learned who Jesus is from the Gospel of John. I learned that I could not have a relationship with God but through His son, Jesus Christ. I learned that this was a spiritual battle that I could not win without the Holy Spirit. I learned that God could meet every need that I ever had in accordance with His will for my life. Every thing that I longed for from people was met through my relationship with Christ Jesus. I learned that God has a plan specifically designed for me. Oh… I was so excited and I grew spiritually by the minute. One Bible teacher helped me release my identity as a lesbian by confessing that I was a child of God. He explained how we get caught up in titles and status. In the end, we are just children of God and He sees no other label but that one. I was hooked as I begin to listen to one host after the other. I was hungry for the Word and it was helpful that people called in with some of the same struggles that I had. I became “addicted” to the Word. The more I read, the more spiritually discerning I became. As I continued to listen to Christian radio, I learned about the Old and New Covenant. I knew nothing about how the New Covenant began with Jesus’ death on the cross. I knew nothing about Adam’s sin bringing sin upon all mankind causing us to be born spiritually dead. People just don’t understand that until they accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, they will never know who God is and will never be able to truly discern His Word. They will never understand how only the Spirit can overcome the flesh. I fought all these battles on my own, and that’s why I failed every single time. I didn’t begin to ask Christ until I found out through Christian radio that He could win all of my battles. How did you come to Christ? Thankfully, some of the radio hosts would ask their callers if they wanted to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I would say the sinners’ prayer right along with them. I confessed my sins to Christ and believed that He died for each and every one of them. But, I knew that it didn’t stop there. I had to totally submit my life to Christ. I had to live for Him and not for the world. I had to trust in Him with all my heart and soul. I had to become totally dependent on God and not myself or anyone else. It felt wonderful to relinquish my so-called independence and be accountable to the living God, Jesus Christ. The structure, discipline, foundation and everything that is required to survive in this world of modernity and moral relativism are met in the providence of our sovereign Lord. After about a year of Christian radio, Bible study, televangelism and conferences, I was ready to give glory to my Lord. Any doubts I had were just viewed as thoughts. I had learned that the sin nature would always cause me to have carnal thoughts. But, I had the power to reject them and neutralize them through the Holy Spirit. Hallelujah!! I finally had the power to walk away from my friends, even though 99 percent were lesbian. I no longer had concerns about how to change or whether a man would ever accept me. God told me to give it up! Give it all to Him. He told me not to worry, just come. Since I had failed so many times before, I had to lay down my life for my Lord, take up my cross and walk. Although my friend continued to ask me to be in a relationship with her, I had the power to say “no.” The more I said “no,” the more I glorified the Lord. All I wanted to do was to be in His will. One day I woke up and I knew it was over! Sixteen years of mental torment were over! Although I went through a transition, it seemed like the desire went away overnight. My mind had been completely renewed just like Paul mentioned in the book of Romans. My friend had been living with me throughout this year, although it was not what I wanted. But, by this time, I knew she had to go and that God would provide a place for her to find shelter. He did and I was set free! How did your friends react? I began to share my experience with my friends, hoping that they too would come to Christ for deliverance. They weren’t convinced that the Lord had delivered me. But as the years have gone by, I can testify that my Lord is a deliverer! I could never condemn them because I’ve been where they are. I know about the depraved mind and how when we continue to live in habitual disobedience to the Lord, he gives us up in our depravity to experience the consequences of our disobedience. I pray for them, but they do not want to hear my message. They are totally happy in the lifestyle. They believe that the Lord loves them the way they are. I know there are people who want out, but they’re trusting in themselves. I have not been able to convince them that God can do it. Did any Christians reach out to you? Even before I had truly given my life to Christ, He sent the sister of a lesbian minister to me. She would call me at least three times a week as I was going through the transition. She knew that I was in the lifestyle, and she would call me to talk about the Lord. There was no condemnation. She encouraged me to read the Word, pray and begin to fellowship with other believers. The Lord put her in my life for a season. I was out of touch with her for almost two years. When I finally rekindled our friendship, I was able to tell her that I had received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and that I was free from the bondage of homosexual immorality. She didn’t know where it was all going to lead. She was just being obedient to God by sharing His Word. To this day, I remind her how grateful I am that she responded to the Father’s call on her life at that time. You have quite a testimony. I truly believe that the Lord saved me so that I could help bring others to Christ so that He could deliver them as well. People don’t understand the freedom I experienced when Christ delivered me from this life style. I often think about how homosexuals think they are free when they “come out” to the public or family members and friends. They will never experience true freedom until they come out to Jesus, invite Him into their lives and ask for deliverance from this lifestyle. Because the Lord has so graciously delivered me, I have developed this boldness in Christ as I have placed all my confidence in Him. I have no problem revealing my past to others that it may bring them to Christ. When I first got delivered, I started to go to the clubs looking for people to share the Gospel with. But, at that time, I found no one who wanted to talk about the Lord. But I know there is someone there just like I was. I just want people to know that I am available when they want to let go and let God. My recommendation to all women young and old who may be considering trying this lifestyle even for a moment – DON’T DO IT! It is another way that Satan gets in to kill, steal and destroy your life. Don’t let a simple kiss lead you into the wilderness. Don’t let your curiosities lead you into temptation. Many women, even married women, are turning to other women to satisfy sexual fantasies. DON’T DO IT! Hold fast to the truths in the Word of God. Pick up your Bible and read Psalm 139:13 and know that the Lord created you and knit you together in your mother’s womb not to do the works of the sinful nature. Read Romans 1:18-28 and feel God’s wrath for this behavior as well as other sins. Read Romans 8:5-11 and learn to be controlled by your spiritual mind not your carnal mind. Read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 and see that we are to flee from sexual sins. Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit for those who are in Christ Jesus. Read Galatians 5:16-25 and know that we are not to gratify the desires of our sinful nature. Be lead by the Spirit that lives in you. Read Ephesians 4:17-19, 22-24 and 5:3, and 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8. Don’t live by the world, live by the Word. God has moved me to the heart of Sacramento. My church has also recently moved to a historical cathedral here. We are aware that one of the most popular well-known gay clubs in Northern California is just blocks away. We hope that our presence will make a difference in this community and that we will be able to minister to the needs of the lost. I hope that through Christ, I will be able to plant a seed in the minds of members of the gay and lesbian community that God is in control. He loves them and wants the best life for them, and it is not His will that they continue to live in sexual immorality. Come to Christ and experience a new life. The end You may contact Valerie at spiritflld1@attbi.com.